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The basic premise of this article is that men and women are fundamentally different. This does not mean that either sex is lesser or greater than the other. Much like the yin is essential to the yang and vice versa, the masculine requires the feminine the exist and prosper, as does the feminine the masculine. The great tragedy of our times is that the masculine and the feminine have grown blurry as concepts.
How can your masculine traits complement the feminine traits of a woman, if you do not know what being a male is? And how can a woman ever hope to coexist with man, if she is not in touch witth herself and her feminine nature? These are all sprawling problems with interdisciplinary extensions going well beyond the scope of this piece and can have no easy answer. For the purposes of this article, we will focus our lens on women: Understanding female psychology.
The Battle of the Sexes
There is a raging battle between the two sexes and there has always been one. This is not the same fight that feminism claims: This is not about a toxic patriarchy and a suprressed female population. Let us regard this under the lens of evolutionary theories: A male is capable of fertilising the eggs of hundreds or thousands of females during his life. Considering how the chief purpose of a living organism in Earth is to survive and reproduce, it seems logical to assume that a male would be best served to sleep with as many women as possible.
In reverse, for a female to give birth and nurture their children, a much more significant time, energy and resources commitment is required. Thus it is obvious that for a woman the ideal strategy would be to find and secure a suitable mate that will support her in raising her offspring. By successfully doing so, however, she would rob the male the chance to replicate with as many females as he was biologically capable to.
Can you spot the difference of interests?
Dual female reproductive strategy
This is where things get really interesting however. According to science and lengthy research, females of both the human and other species often have a dual reproductive strategy. In one hand, they surely want to secure a mate that will serve as a great father for their offspring. On the other hand, they also want the best genes available on the market. More often than not, these two are not the same person – with leads to various cases of cheating and other, less pleasant complications. Like we said, a man driving in accordance to his best interest will not easily settle for a single woman, so it is logical to assume that such genetically elite men are bound to be quite economical with their commitment.
The end result is that women often stay with men they are comfortable and reasonably secure with and yet long for men they cannot really pin down to commit long term. The misunderstanding or plain non understanding of this simple truth is a source of pain, confusion and agony for thousands of men around the world. You cannot hope to begin understanding female psychology if you do not accept this axiom.
The Best of Both Worlds
Some guys get glimpses of the aforementioned truth and come to simplified conclusions like, “Women like jerks” or “Good guys finish last”. Even worse, some fall victim to the completely unrealistic Hollywood presentation of love between the sexes and spend their lives trying to mindlessly please and abundantly provide resources, energy and time to women, only to find them largely sexually disinterested to them.
In order to really understand the feminine, you have to be able to see the bigger picture. For a woman to really love you and stay loyal to you, you should ideally cover both aspects of her reproductive strategy. She must see you as a rock, a strong, secure man she can lean on in times of uncertainty and distress – you cover her “survival” needs. Simultaneously, you have to be able to make her heart beat a little faster by being at your best, top form – her need for “reproduction”.
Unlike what most foolishly seem to think you CAN actually be both. You can be sexy without being a jerk, and you can be secure and reliable without being a doormat. Is it easy? Not quite. The reason was first stated in the article’s introduction: Men no longer know what it means to be masculine.
How do you go about it?
This could have easily been an article in itself, but to make it as short and sweet as possible: You need to remove getting women out of your mind, for a time. The truth is, being desirable to women is a lagging indicator of your success. First, you become someone and then, second, women want to be with you. Getting women does not make you someone. You have to be someone to get women.
“Being someone” can mean a million different things. I could be someone to myself, but I could be a nobody to you or the next – and of course, this works both ways. Your best bet is to focus on things you enjoy deep inside.
Awkward Truth Bomb
That’s what you wanted to hear, no? You need to “be true to yourself” and good in all the things you like. Well, that was a lie. A sweet lie, but a lie nonetheless. Unfortunately, being “yourself” is not always enough. Being yourself might be equal to being a lazy, demotivated and fat cave troll. In truth, there are traits that are objectively and universally attractive to women.
Being in good shape, for example, is one of them. So hit the gym and stop eating crap. Being financially successful is another – so do not play around with your career. Having social skills is a close third, so make sure you do not isolate yourself reading online articles. Being ambitious and driven. Staying resilient against adversity. This list could go on forever.