Contents - What you can read about
Sexting has become a new way to foreplay, to have intense sexual play and take things to a whole new level. For most people it can begin as an awkward adventure, but with a little practice, vulnerabilities soon fall to the wayside. New tantalizing ideas are conjured up, and even new places to initiate the voracious flirting. Between two adults, sexting can open up the most delicious of plays. The big question for many men and women is how to successfully sext?
If the sexting idea sends shivers down your bones, here is a crash course on taking a text conversation to the hottest level.
Set the Tone
The biggest mistake men make when trying to sext is timing. In all the eagerness, they become unaware as to what a woman might be doing on the other end of the line. Catching a woman off-guard while she is mopping her floor or in a business meeting is not going to work to your advantage. You want to be able to set up the mood for sexting in a natural way. The ‘let it happen’ scenario. Any pushiness on your part will be seen as a turn-off, and quickly the subject will change or she will excuse herself from the conversation with a big ‘yuck’.
One way to set the tone is to inquire about what she is doing (maybe she is getting ready to take a bath, or she is with all the family watching TV). This will give you a head’s up on timing. If she is alone and wants to chat, use humor and compliments to open the conversation. When she is relaxed, you can steer the conversation in a sexual direction without being overly anxious. Keep it smooth. Less is more for now. Most men assume to interpret any responses in a way that she is seducing you. Sometimes she is. And, sometimes she is not. Do not make the mistake of misinterpretation. You are trying to build sexual tension here that is mutual. Keep it fun and playful. This is your foundation to build the sexual tension to the degree sexting is inevitable.
About Tension-Building Techniques
Sexual innuendos are great when the woman is catching what you are throwing. You can usually tell because she will throw a fast ball back at you. If she is interested, back-and-forth exchange will get more intense with desire through play. If she has shut down for whatever reason (maybe she has never sexted before, or someone has interrupted) respect the moment and ask if you can continue your little romp later. Some women divine in sexual innuendos, especially if they want you in that delicious sexual way.
Another easy way to build tension is to casually bring sex into your conversation with the “let’s do it” text. There is so much double meaning in these three little words. Perhaps she texts you something like “Want to go see a show?” you can respond with “Let’s do it. Go to the show, I mean… not sex. Not yet :)” Playful words like this show her you are a sexual being without you coming on too strong.
After you have mastered the art of building sexual tension through playful banter, you’re going to have to find that part inside of you where your own sexual desires must come out. While flirting can build momentum; you don’t want the call to drop based on your inability to take it further.
This is an edgy exciting moment for a guy, when he knows he is about to cross the simple text into full on sexting ritual. This is the point where you get to tell her what you are wanting and feeling. Take the risk. Sometimes you are bound to make mistakes, but this is how you learn to perfect sexting with women. You just never know when that one risky text will be the one to send her over the edge.
The Moment of Fantasies
Once your conversation is in full sexual swing you can share the kind of naughty thoughts you have about her. Use descriptive language, but stay away from gutter talk. Take is slow, be detailed. Tell her exact descriptions of what you want to do to her, what is exciting you, how your body is reacting and so on. The bottom line is you want her to feel safe with you. This is going to help her open up and share her own fantasies and desires. Once she feels safe, she will basically open the door and invite you in. It is easier for her to do this is you show your vulnerabilities first. This seals the deal.
When She Doesn’t Play Along
This may happen time and time again. There are too many variables floating around in the universe to align all the right circumstances for sexting to take place. Don’t take it personal. Sometimes, women are just not into it. Some women require more than a cell phone. If you miscalculate, simply acknowledge how she feels and get a move on. You can show a little compassion but don’t get stuck there. If you freak out and begin to treat it like it was a big deal, this could be a future deal breaker, especially if you truly are knee-deep in with this woman. By brushing it off, you put her at ease and more likely to initiate a sexting call with you in the future. Women are just like this. The smooth dismount is to stay respectful and thoughtful.
Who Has a Sexting Mindset?
This is a huge want-to-know question. Some women come across as eager candidates but then shut you down immediately. Others, who seem shy, can only express their innermost desires by texting. This puts men in an awkward position. Men don’t want to be seen as creepy or gross by their love of sexting.
The main thing to remember, sexting isn’t just all about you. Remember, there is an amazing woman on the other end, so show appreciation and honor the moment. Diving into crude or disrespectful text is going to get you the creepy award.
Women have to believe what you are putting out, so be genuine in your talk and compliments. When a woman is attracted to you, she is going to want to tap into that raw desire you hold. Let her inspire you to bring it all to the text.
Ownership of Feelings
No matter what outcomes happen from sexting adventures, the take-away is to take ownership of your own feelings and actions. Try not to over think, or fake your way. When a woman is turned on to sexting, she will send up many white flags by her responses. Sexting is not supposed to bring along the guilt, shame, family or grocery list. It is a smoldering moment between two consenting adults.
If done right, sexting can provide a good and harmless way to alter a normal routine, spice up a relationship or even improve one’s self esteem. Once you have sext the first time, it does get easier. Be brave.