It may sound easy, but finding a girl in college can be a challenge that many people can’t do. Oftentimes it’s way too hard to escape your comfort zone to search for future-Mrs. Right when you’re attempting to get good grades, be active in campus organizations, working a part- or full-time job, and a thousand other things that take up a lot of your time. Perhaps the conventional way of finding girls just doesn’t fit your personality.
Then there are the dudes who go to bars nearby campus grounds or are consistently present at frat parties in hopes of finding the next girl to add another notch to their bedpost. There’s nothing wrong with this approach and you shouldn’t fault people for doing this, but if you’re looking for something real then this is definitely not the path for you.
If it’s a girlfriend you’re looking for then you want someone who can really whom you can really connect with on a deeper level. If this sounds like something you’re interested in, these 12 steps can help you on your way to finding a college girlfriend.
Contents - What you can read about
- 1 1. Escape your comfort zone
- 2 2. Be realistic
- 3 3. Pay attention to your appearance
- 4 4. Be a gentleman
- 5 5. There’s no absolutely correct way of finding women
- 6 6. Opening lines
- 7 7. Getting her number
- 8 8. Where to go on the first date
- 9 9. What if she ignores you?
- 10 10. Being direct can be creepy
- 11 11. Don’t try too hard
- 12 12. Relax…
1. Escape your comfort zone
There’s nothing wrong with holding up the wall at clubs or parties, especially if getting down on the dance floor is something that sounds more embarrassing than fun. For the most part, a lot of people go through some introvert stage in their lives, but you ever want to strike up a conversation with a girl you have a crush on, then you’re going to need to find the courage to actually go out and approach her. You have to get up and out and stop playing it safe.
Breaking out of your comfort zone from time to time can really help increase self-confidence. People who only follow a singular daily routine unconsciously build up a wall that is a challenge to tear down. Go out to where women are. If you’ve ever seen a college campus, you’ll find women basically everywhere. If you want a girlfriend, you need to let women know that you exist.
2. Be realistic
Some people go through their whole lives looking for that one man or woman who meets every criterion we want in a husband or wife. You don’t want to spend your whole life waiting for her to fall from the heavens and into your lap.
If you want a girlfriend then there’s really no better place to start than in college. People are blooming into their true selves – good or bad – and they’re learning to accept others for their personalities and quirks. You also shouldn’t accept just anyone because they like you, but you shouldn’t let small things become deal-breakers.
3. Pay attention to your appearance
When was the last time you showered? Or used cologne? Or shaved? Or made an attempt to look moderately pleasant-looking? You don’t have to be Mr. Metrosexual with the latest updates on fashion, but you should at least look and smell good when you go out in public.
Exercise personal hygiene and be confident in how you look. There’s nothing sexier than being confident, and looking good can get you half-way there.
4. Be a gentleman
If you come off as rude or sloppy, there’s little reason to doubt that you’ll never find a girlfriend. Not that all women are looking for a gentleman, but most women are and it never hurts to play the odds.
Being polite doesn’t just mean you’re treating her well, but it also means that you’re showing interest in her as a person. You don’t want to be known as the person who’s looking to hook up all the time, so being a gentleman can be a differentiating factor between you and “Chads.”
5. There’s no absolutely correct way of finding women
Nobody can tell you that women only congregate in bars, parties, cafes or churches. It’s up to you to find where you are most comfortable in and approaching women there. Some find it easy to approach women in bars, then go to bars and strike a conversation with a woman. Others may find it easier to talk to women in college seminars. Find what works best for you.
6. Opening lines
The best opening line you can give a potential girlfriend is definitely NOT one you found on the internet or a cheesy one-liner that’s been used to death. You’ll have to be original and most importantly you’ll have to be yourself. Simply introduce yourself to her, ask her for her name. Maybe you are both in the same major, or maybe you’ve seen her at an event that you went to. Start off small and see where it takes you.
7. Getting her number
If you know a girl’s full name, most likely you’ll be able to stalk her through any social media platform. Stalking someone’s facebook page most likely means that she’ll never want to see or talk to that person. What you need is her to give you her phone number consensually. When speaking with a woman you could potentially fall for, ask her for her phone number. If you want to be direct, tell her you want to take her out on a date. If you still need some time to get to know each other or you have similar interests, tell her that you want to meet up for coffee sometime, or that there’s a rally/seminar/meeting/event related to whatever mutual interests you have and you want to take her there.
8. Where to go on the first date
Depending on what your mutual interests, take her somewhere that you both would enjoy. If you don’t know her well enough, perhaps having a conversation over a cup of coffee can help break the ice. Again, there’s no right way of finding a college girlfriend so you’ll have to be flexible about where you take her.
9. What if she ignores you?
One of the worst feelings is when you think you’re hitting it off with a woman just to find that she constantly ignores your texts or calls. Take a deep breath, and for the love of God, DO NOT leave 50 messages and 25 missed calls.
You might’ve felt something that she didn’t, and maybe she just doesn’t have the nerve to tell you. If she’s busy, she’ll get back to you when she has time. If she wants to call you, she’ll call you. If you haven’t heard from her in a few days, she most likely doesn’t want to start anything with you. That’s fine. Just remember that there are plenty of college co-eds on campus.
10. Being direct can be creepy
Some girls need to be eased into a relationship. If you are too straightforward with your approach, you just might end up scaring her off. If she is also exiting her comfort zone to try and find new people, you may just push her back into hiding by being too direct. It may not be your problem; she just might not know how to handle advances from men. Start off slowly, warm her up a bit, and do a little flirting here or there.
11. Don’t try too hard
Trying too hard is a clear sign that you are desperate and are willing to do anything to hook up. It might not even be true, but that’s the vibe you’re giving by putting in too much effort. Trying too hard means you’re asking waaay too many questions, giving too many compliments, spending too much money, and bragging and exaggerating about your past successes. Don’t do that. Trying too hard is definitely off-putting.
In relation to the previous point, you’re going to want to relax with your approach. Take it slow, don’t move too quickly, take time to study each other, don’t correct her or other people about every little thing they do wrong. There’s a thin line between being smart and appearing the be smart, and you definitely don’t want her to pass you off as a know-it-all.